 'You called me beautiful once...' 'Babe, you got real ugly.' -Evil Dead, the Musical Two weeks ago, my Macbook had reached its limit. My baby had a cracked screen, a 20-minute battery life and a six-month expired warranty. Sorry hon. It was a good three years, but this relationship is over. There was much to do before the new computer, a drop-dead sexy, aluminum-bodied backlit keyboard Macbook PRO 13-inch, could be purchased. I first had to finish my last 8-day shift at the bottom of the Soudan Mine, which involved repeated appearances of bats. But of course I've already told you about those. I needed a little extra money if I wanted to bring this babe of busty bytes home with me. This involved me picking up a week-long internship with the Hibbing Daily Tribune, a publication I've worked for off-and-on since 2007. My assignment: Interview a local 11-year-old who won the nation's most recent Laura Ingalls Wilder look-alike contest.  Hannah Kivela (right) poses with the Nellie look alike. So. Damn. Cute. (From the New Century Press) We discussed what it was like to dress up in 1800s attire, meet cast members of "Little House on the Prairie" and crush the spirits of 34 other pioneer girl wannabees. She even brought her prize: a bonnet and an adorable little doll modeled after Laura's real one. She also won a bucket; I assumed it was for all the people who the whole thing so damn cute they couldn't help but vomit. Because of Little Miss Wilder, I now had enough money to purchase my chrome concubine. I rejoiced, and then the Financial Aid Crisis of 2010 reared its ugly head. Apparently, I hadn't circled somethingorother on someoranother financial aid sheet and hadn't accepted my Presidential Scholarship. AS IF I WOULDN'T ACCEPT IT. I mean, come on. They should know these things by now. In a panic, I went to the only person who could help: my mother. We met at the Bach Yen, the fanciest Chinese restaurant in Hibbing (meaning the only one that has a menu). We nommed and nailed that paperwork in time for the fortune cookies. And what a fortune! "A stranger will compliment you on Friday." Sweet! The week passed while I packed for college and dreamed about my Macintosh mistress. I said goodbyes, SOW-na'd every chance I got and fought with DMV ladies. I only had one thing left to do: work a final shift at the soup kitchen. I've helped out at the soup kitchen off and on for a little less than a decade. You see a lot of repeat visitors; there was this little lady I always saw. She always carefully arranged her dishes before giving them to us, because no one else did, she said. Afterward, it was time to clean up. My usual job involved taking out the trash, a risky and potentially messy ordeal. The job involves bringing the bag outside, where you tie it on a loading dock. Then, with careful aim, you toss the bag of garbage into a dumpster. I lined up my shot and took it — success! It must have been really good, because I suddenly heard from my left a familiar thin voice, "Good job!" I looked over, and there she was, the little lady who had probably been in and out of this place every day since I was in grade school. She was dumpster diving. She smiled at me. My fortune had come true. The next day I found myself outside the Apple Store in the Mall of America, holding my computer. It was as gorgeous as I had imagined — but I hardly paid any attention to it. I stood in the Mall for a while, looking over the former Camp Snoopy. There were all these parents with their kids. There were all these crying babies and all these texting teens. I couldn't help thinking about their futures. About all their college educations. About all their families and all the Christmas dinners. I couldn't stop thinking about my future, and all the doors this little machine in my arms was going to open for me. There was another future I tried not to think about, one that involved green and yellow-chipped paint and black bags. I thought about it anyway. These images stood in stark contrast in my mind, as sharp as black against white, and they did something to me that I have a hard time explaining. For some people, it's about the fortune. For others, it's about the cookie.  CommentsBrooke 08/31/2010 21:06
Haha Matt! Yes! Morgan 08/31/2010 21:17
Matt.. you are without a doubt ... the strangest person to write.. I think you even knock JD Salinger off the list the way you write.. But I must admit... It's brillant. 08/31/2010 21:29
Thanks Morgan. I think Salinger can still kick my ass, but I do appreciate the compliment, it's an honor. Leave a Reply |  Author
Reporter. Physicist. Film-maker. Teacher. Welcome to my random life. Matt Nelson maddoxnelson @gmail.com CategoriesAll ArchivesJanuary 2012 |
