Matt Nelson, the Writer - Blog

Day One of the Red-Flannel Run

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:38:24 -0800

Originally posted on my Drake University-sponsored blog on Jan. 21Do I have any running readers out there? I’m not only talking to the track team, I’m talking to the casual racers out there, the ones who dream about doing marathons just for fun.

My response to you is to get off your butt and get to work. I’ve done two marathons and one half marathon since I was 18. Despite all the sweat, nipple bleeding and occasional cold shakes, they were COMPLETELY worth it.

I didn’t run any race last year and I really regretted it. So this year, I’m back on the training horse and hard at work, although my approach and my goals are somewhat different than they have been in the past.

This year, for example, I want to earn a solid marathon time, not just finish the race. To do that, I’m planning on running two races beforehand, and using those results to determine my final marathon time.

The first race takes place in late February: the red flannel run. And you have no idea how excited I am for it!

It’s five miles. In red flannel. And I’ve got the plaid to pull it off (even suspenders… This is gonna be great). It’s sponsored by the YMCA in Des Moines. I’m running it with a friend of mine, Mary Bess Bolling, who is a fellow News-Internet major who also works at the Y. She just started a great little blog here if you want to check it out.

My plan for this sharp little five mile run is 8 minute miles, so 40 minutes or less. For some of you established runners that might seem like a breeze, but I’m fat so back off. I’m thinking this goal is pretty realistic for me.

The next race I plan to do: the Drake Relays half marathon in April. During my freshman year, I did the 5K, which was a blast, and it only feels natural that I should finish my college career with the largest of the available races. In that race, I hope to finish in 1:45:00 or less. It’s a steep goal–but two summers ago I finished a half in just under two hours, and I think that while this will be a challenge, it’s completely within my ability.

Following that, I plan on running a marathon. I haven’t settled on a final location of choice yet– although I will say that Duluth hosts a great one in the form of Grandma’s Marathon. The whole process should keep me moving and active in 2012. Should be a good time.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thu, 06 Oct 2011 09:06:21 -0800

My dad and I at the Apple store circa 2007, about to buy my first MacBook (this is a Photo Booth Photo).

(Author's note: This was originally posted on my Drake University-sponsored blog on Oct. 5, 2011).
His name was Frank Valentini, and 60 years before he’d flown planes across China and back at the height of World War II.

Now he was in a little house in Chisholm, Minnesota, sitting across from a wide-eyed 17-year-old journalist conducting the first interview of his life.

I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew I couldn’t screw it up. I recorded the interview, popping open my computer and firing up a popular little program called Garageband.

I took pages of notes during the two-hour interview, most of which made no sense afterwards. But that was okay, because I had it all there on the computer, ready to be taken and transcribed. I used that software six more times that summer, and I wrote about them.

I spent most of the summer after my freshman year of college coated in blood and screaming my head off. My close friends and I had decided to film a full-length horror movie involving trucks, kayaks and a bloody set of pruning shears. We wrote the script (the story involved a dysfunctional film crew who went into the Northern Minnesota woods to film a horror movie, only to begin dying themselves), acted the parts and edited the entire thing in a little program called iMovie. It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life — I even wrote a column in the local newspaper about it.

Another summer, I decided to run a marathon along the North Shore of Duluth. I charged up my iPod — a white little beauty that featured full video-playback capabilities — and ran for 5 hours. It was so great — I wrote about it.

And tonight, it occurs to me that for the last 10 years or so, whenever I’ve experienced something that was so important to me that I had to write about it — I had some sort of device named after a piece of fruit with me. I couldn’t not write tonight, not when the caretaker of that strange little company passed away.

I never met Steve Jobs, but I did email him once, because my roommate convinced me to. His email was easy to find on his website. I told him about an idea I had about an iPad that slipped in and out of a console-type device, so that it dual functioned as a tablet and personal laptop. That was earlier this year, so I have yet to see if my idea becomes reality.

I don’t think I’m going to be very coherent tonight. There’s a lot of memories bouncing around. Tapping out papers about Romeo and Juliet in ninth grade on an iMac. Bono singing ‘Vertigo’ against colored silhouettes with white buds lacing up along their necks. Eagerly downloading season 2 episodes of LOST and watching them on a 2-inch screen. Winning an iPod shuffle and having it be one of the most exciting moments of my life. Falling through an icy pond and using my iPhone for a year afterwards. My mom discontinuing expensive wireless internet because the data plan on my dad’s iPad was $70 cheaper.

My parents began texting me. Best one: “Your father and I got netflix. So and so go to White Castle. Awful.”

And I couldn’t even begin to say what Steve Jobs did for my future. Journalism hasn’t quite figured that one out yet. But I’m starting to believe that the opportunities made existent by the technology ushered in by Apple will become the basis of my future career. And that’s intense, no matter how you look at it.

In a way, he kind of reminds me of Charles Schultz, the Peanuts cartoonist who worked tirelessly for 50 years and ran the last comic strip the day before he died. I don’t know where it is these strange pioneers who cause so much job come from.

I find myself thinking of those interviews again, the ones with the veterans. Their smiles. Their stories. And I think about the stories I’ve recorded with these keys, all the words I’ve saved with these programs.

What’s funny about Apple is that I won’t remember the broad, sweeping changes they made to the world while I was growing up. I’m going to remember staying up all night editing video with friends. It’s those little things I’ll remember. RIP, Mr. Jobs.

Closing Time! Minnesota Shuts Down!

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 15:00:26 -0800

Welp, the state parks have begun to shut down on the eve of the Fourth of July weekend, and unless some Republicans back down soon, it looks like the government is shutting down.

Which means my dad, along with about 35,999 other employees will be laid off starting Saturday. But the effects extend a lot further — loggers can't log on state lands, the DNR can't sell fishing licenses and I can't poop at a rest stop when I drive down to the cities.

To those politically minded, this is no surprise. The Republicans promised they would curtail spending. Dayton is promising he'll spend more. They are doing EXACTLY WHAT WE TOLD THEM TO DO.

What we've got is a host of determined politicians who want the best for the state and won't settle for anything less. And in the process it seems to be on the verge of burning to the ground.

I keep hearing about the "cone of silence" that has descended upon legislators keeping secret the budget discussions. AND I GOT THE OBSCURE REFERENCE! Looks like all those years of watching TV Land finally paid off.

The cone of silence was a technologic blunder used for comedy on "Get Smart" back in the 1960s. A movie came out based on the show a couple years ago. The cone of silence was supposedly used to prevent anyone from listening in, but many times those within the cone couldn't even hear each other speak, to comedic effect.

It's an oddly specific and correct metaphor for what's going on in the capitol right now. Legislators, I think I speak for everyone when I say, you better get your shit together.

Today in News: Weiners, kidneys, iPads... and murder.

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 12:17:10 -0800

The headlines are alive with the sound of sixth-grade penis puns, teens swapping kidneys for iPads, a gov't sancitioned Plate of noms and a 20-something who allegedly killed her daughter so she could party. Here's Today in News, with a little Nels-spin.

“The Hot New Weiner Theory Sweeping the Internet”
—NYMag.com

The Weinergate scandal — or whatever it is — is a black letter day for headline writers. A quick Google News search revealed such gems as “Weiner apologizes for being stiff” and “Big lies come in small packages.”

I’m not exactly sure what responsibility the media has to people with funny names caught in potential sex scandals, because I definitely can’t stop cracking up about it. None of the mainstream outlets seem to be able to, either. You're setting a greeaaaat example for all us wannabe journalists, mass media.

Weiner continues to insist that he was pranked, and this is one of the first stories I’ve seen that indicates that may actually be true. This is good for him since I can say “with certitude” that he’s been doing a pretty poor job of not looking like a guilty sleazeball so far.

This article basically says that the site yFrog, which the lewd photo popped up on, is pretty easy to hack if you know someone’s yFrog email address. Bloggers are also saying it’s pretty easy to figure out a yFrog email address. The only unanswered question is: was it Weiner's wiener?

Casey Anthony Trial: Frustrated Cops Called her “Cold Blooded… Monster”

Anyone else been following the sordid developments in the trial of Casey Anthony, the mom who allegedly killed her daughter so she could live the partying lifestyle of a twenty-something?

The trial has been going on about a week and a half now — and the coverage has been pretty balanced. The trial has been overall presented in a very factual way, with both the defense and the prosecution given adequate airtime. This story seems particularly damning to Anthony, but every single statement is backed by evidence or fleshed out in the article.

No More Food Pyramid: Nutritional Icon is Now a Plate

…and a badly designed one at that. Sure, it’s simple, but really? The government could have paid me $50 bucks and I could have created their new icon. This is supposed to guide the nation out of an obesity epidemic and save us billions in healthcare? It looks like someone created it in a 1998 version of MS-DOS Paint. PAINT. And what’s with the title “MyPlate”? It sounds like a middle-school social network for cafeteria-goers.

The article pretty much backs up all the claims the plate makes and draws in a whole bunch of expert opinions. But who cares? The plate makes no reference to exercise and just seems to invite criticism from all levels. Anyone else want to go to Raygun and pick up the witty shirt they’re bound to come up with this summer?

...Now that I think of it, this whole “design controversy” worked out pretty well for the D+ campaign, which got a whole lot of people talking about Drake, looking into it and will probably draw in a gi-normous freshman class.

I take it back. The plate is brilliant. I guess I’ll give some of MySpace in my life to MyPlate. Check out the article for a ton of expert opinions and other great reasons why the plate rocks.

Would You Sell a Kidney for an iPad 2?
-PCMag

No. I’m holding onto my organs until at least an iPad 3.

I'm not a big fan of PCMag. Last month, I actually wrote a letter to the editor to them upset about their consumer-oriented coverage of the Foxconn explosion in a polishing factory last month, when they ignored (and failed to report) the names or photos of those killed.

This story isn’t quite as one-sided as the other one — but it does spin it in a humorous light, which I don’t appreciate. We’re talking about an idiot 17-year-old boy here who didn’t tell his parents about the procedure and went to a hospital that wasn’t qualified. Hospital administration didn’t even know about the procedure, since it was outsourced to a “private businessman.”

…WHAT?! How can it even be possible to perform surgery on a minor in such a shady way?

Once again, PCMag misses the important story to focus on a consumer-oriented “funny” angle. There’s nothing funny about organ stealing. This is a case of a dumbass kid being victimized and cut apart.

CDC Marks the 30th Anniversary of HIV/AIDS
-ABC

Great article that summarizes the crisis, tugs at some hearstrings and throws some shocking statistics at the reader right at the end. It references the first article about AIDS — then an unknown affliction — and grabs statements from one of the earliest doctors, whose quote “All of our patients died — 100 percent,” bluntly throws the epidemic into context. The following sentence: “She felt like a ‘midwife’ of death’ in the early years,” offers the reader a sense of despair and frustration that must have been present for early AIDS researchers.

The article then brings the reader into the present day, nothing that treatments are much cheaper and much more effective, and that HIV is now a disease that can be managed, with transmission risks much lower. It’s a great read, overall, and gives great insight into the magnitude and devastation of the crisis.

Scarred for life... by suspenders.

Tue, 24 May 2011 14:08:47 -0800

Several dozen times over the last ten years, I have dressed up like a lumberjack to entertain people.

No, I am not a hipster. My dad works at the Forest History Center, a Minnesota historical site in Grand Rapids, MN that features a 1900 logging camp, complete with a cookshack, bunkhouse and horse barn. The camp is populated by costumed interpreters who give visitors the chance to experience life in a turn-of-the-century logging camp without them having to sweat, swear or freeze their balls off.

My dad's initial job at the center was the Barn Boss (he drove horses around all day). This meant that frequently I would be called upon to put on overalls, boots and (fuck my life) suspenders. I would "volunteer" (emphasis on the quotes) my time to show the metropolitan Grand Rapids folk about the importance of avoiding Road Apples (if you don't know what they are, then tough luck because I sure as hell aren't going to give that damn spiel again). Really, for how weird I am, it's a wonder I didn't turn out a lot stranger.

You would think that after a decade, three years of college, several writing awards and the ability to legally drink that I would have outgrown my time as a Road Monkey. And yet I had barely returned for the summer before there was my dad, glint in his eye, asking me, "So what are you doing Tuesday?"

I agreed — only because I didn't have to wear suspenders. I had been asked to deliver seven 25-minute lectures to groups of fifth-grade students on "nature writing."

This quickly morphed into "nature storytelling," because it's hard to hold the attention of 11-year-olds sitting on stumps in the woods, let alone get them to write about the moss under their butts.

The next few hours proceeded pretty much as one would expect. Several children had shot up hornets' nests with various children's guns and been chased down by the enraged stinging insects. Several others discussed hunting and gutting deer in the fall. Such is the life of a Northern Minnesotan child.

The main exercise centered around the students using sensory details to tell their stories — meaning words that pertained to the five senses ("Except for women," one boy said. "They have a sixth sense." I didn't ask him what he meant).

The last group was particularly difficult. All boys, and all incapable of sitting still. One of them began peeling the bark off his stump and found a worm underneath, which he loudly broadcast to the group. I scrambled to my feet and encouraged him quickly, "Describe the worm! What color is it? What does it feel like?!"

My creative efforts didn't do much good — it was the end of the day, and they (and I) wanted to go home.

"I have a story," one chubby boy with glasses said suddenly.

I glanced at him warily. This was the same kid who had tried to climb a tree and jump from one wobbling stump to the next.

"Once my family went camping, and it rained. The thunder was so loud that it shook the lantern next to me. All the moisture stuck to the tent, so in the morning, when we ran our fingers across it, it was wet and stuck to the cloth beneath it. You could draw pictures in the water drops."

Then he promptly went back to playing with bugs.

It was a quick, intense image — but elaborated upon in a surprisingly eloquent way. I don't the kid had any idea that he had just done exactly what I had been trying to get kids to do all day — describe in detail an experience of nature that others could connect with.

It boggles my mind that this simple little event — running ones fingers over a soaked tent — is something that millions of young Americans may never get to experience.

Today in News: Your iPads are in danger!

Mon, 23 May 2011 13:16:19 -0800

I don't know if you heard, but there was explosion at an iPad 2 Foxconn factory a fews days ago that left dozens injured. Three were killed, but let's talk about the important stuff! iPhone 4S and/or iPhone 5 release dates could be delayed!

A quick Google news search of "Foxconn" the other day revealed the most prominent headlines to be related to delays in iPhone/iPad production and/or a drop in Apple stock. None of the articles I perused had even acquired the names of the victims or any quotes or descriptions about who they were. The best I could find were these series of pictures of anguished relatives from Sina/English — and they didn't even name the relatives.

Still, I was struck by the pictures — in the lowest photo, two women (who I presume to be Chinese) sit waiting in the hospital ward. One of them is wearing a red blouse and a purse — the other a striped shirt below a gray suitcoat. It looks like something I might see a young American mother or professional wear. Out of all the coverage I've seen, these three photos have done the best job at telling the human side of this story.

I understand that many media outlets don't have the resources to reach all the way out to China, but I find it hard to believe that a quick Google translation of Chinese news sources or a phone call to the right people couldn't at least produce the names of the deceased.

As this story breaks, it is becoming increasingly clear that this was a factory without regulation or supervision. How many more of these places with deplorable working conditions exist? As sad as the deaths of three people are, how much worse can it be? I can't help but be reminded of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire 100 years ago that changed the American workplace. How many people have to die before companies like Apple take an active interest in their employees and not only their consumers?

And my message to the media: If I have to buy a laptop with blood on it, I want to know whose blood it is.

UPDATE: News sources are now saying aluminum dust produced during the polishing process are a possible cause of the explosion. Reports are saying the reason three people died is because iPads need to shine.

The plant where the explosion took place was built in 76 days — a record time for Foxconn, specifically made to produce the iPad 2.

Bonfire season!

Sun, 22 May 2011 09:20:11 -0800

Every May and June, Northern Minnesotans kick off the summer with Bonfire season. I attended my first one a few nights ago, and brought my new Nikon along. Fires make for great photos with a quick shutterspeed and a wide, wide aperture.

What do you see in the flames? Click through for bigger pictures. Leave your answer in the comments.

"Rapture" eyes around this infographic!

Sat, 21 May 2011 01:24:53 -0800

I was an obsessive reader of the Left Behind books back in the day, so this whole "May 21 is the Rapture!" thing is quite fascinating to me. So fascinating, in fact, that I found myself doing a little research on the topic of unfulfilled prophecies. Turns out pretty much everyone has predicted the rapture at some point, including a racist pope and a psychic chicken.

I decided to create an infographic with what I learned because I'm awake tonight and had nothing else to do. Design is mine, content is from Wikipedia. If you click through and try to zoom in, it could look WAY too big. Sorry, I'm still ironing out glitches. Just go to View/Zoom Out to get a better view of it. I should have it fixed soon.

If you like it (and you're still around planet Earth tomorrow) leave a comment!

If it's still giving you grief, here's the info:
It's the end of the world as we know it... so why do I feel fine? Harold Camping's 2011 prediction is only another prophecy in a long history of them, and — believe it or not — it's one of the more rational forms of thought. From racist popes to apocalypse-predicting chickens, here are 10 other versions of the end times you might not have heard about.

April 6, 793
Beatus of Liébana
The Spanish monk Beatus of Liébana prophesied the second coming of Christ and the end of the world that day to a crowd of people. The crowd thinking that the world would end, fasted through the night. The following morning, Hordonius, one of the fasters, said, "Let's eat and drink, so that if we die at least we'll be fed."

1284
Pope Innocent III
Pope Innocent III predicted that the world would end following 666 years of the rise of Islam.

1806
The Prophet Hen of Leeds
In Leeds, England in 1806 a hen began laying eggs on which the phrase "Christ is coming" written on the eggs. Eventually it was discovered to be a hoax. The hoaxster had written on the eggs in a corrosive ink so to etch the eggs, and reinserted the eggs back into the hen.

1843-1844
William Miller
Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.

December 21
1954
Dorothy Martin Martin, a housewife from Chicago claimed to have received messages from aliens via automatic writing which stated that the world would end in a great flood before dawn on December 21, 1954.

May 5, 2000
Richard Noone
In his book 5/5/2000 - Ice:The Ultimate Disaster, Noone predicts that the planets Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn would align for the first time in 6000 years. This would cause a catastrophic build up of ice at the South pole leading to devastation across the planet.

May 21, 2011
Harold Camping
Camping predicted that the Rapture will occur on May 21, 2011 with God taking approximately 3% of the world's populations (200 million people) into Heaven. The actual end of the world is predicted to occur five months later.

2060
Sir Isaac Newton
Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.

January 19, 2038
Various
Computers that store time as a 32-bit signed integer counting the seconds since midnight, January 1, 1970 will experience issues as the number rolls over, leading computers to believe that the date is December 13, 1901, possibly culminating in severe failures.

2240
Talmud, Orthodox Judaism According the the Talmud and mainstream Orthodox Judaism, the end of the world will be on Rosh Hashanah 6000 from creation, which according to Orthodox Judaism is the year 2240 CE. Most Orthodox Jews interpret the "six thousand year" schema to be metaphorical.

I don't think Kool-Aid is going to give me another bike.

Thu, 19 May 2011 08:44:07 -0800

I'm not a very materialistic person. Yes, I'd like the new iPhone when it comes out, but that's only because I can't blame autocorrect for stupid things I say when I'm texting. And I wouldn't mind driving around in a Delorean, because who doesn't want to pretend they're Michael J. Fox shrieking down the Interstate? But really — things don't matter too much to me.

Still, I do own some stuff that, if taken from me, would cause me to rage like a zombie circa 28 Days Later or Charlie Sheen sans a hooker. And one of those things is my bike.

To the good-for-nothing, broke-ass STD-infested, scum-sucking, pus-filled crab rangoon jerk who stole my bike: You are a piece of shit.

It wasn't even my bike — it was my dad's. My parents bought two bikes in 1995, back when I was struggling to master training wheels. I used to wipe out all the time. I don't think it did any brain damage. I don't think it did any brain damage.

When I was in third grade, I won a mountain bike after filling out a form on the back of a Kool-Aid packet. This thing was sleek; a black vehicle of speed, ready to conquer the wilds of Northern Minnesota. My legs really couldn't reach the pedals, but who cared? I won a contest.

And yet despite the sexiness of my new bike, it wasn't as "Kool" as my dad's. It was a blue 21-speed Raleigh M-30. If it were my friend's bike, it wouldn'tve been anything special; but it was my dad's, and that made it something to be wanted.

As soon as was tall enough, I was riding his bike. In the early years, we would occasionally argue over who would get to ride it. My dad even bought me a green bicycle when I got taller, but I can't even remember the brand name now.

When I was 14 I started riding his bike ten miles into town harboring vague ambitions that this trip made me somehow more independent. It broke down several times, and I came to know every link of that chain over time. I rode miles through rain and thunder on that bike — I lugged I don't know how many movies back from the video store just because I could.

I didn't even notice, as the years started passing, that my dad and I stopped fighting over the bike. It just became mine. We don't take family bicycle rides any more.

It was 16 years old when it was stolen; the seventh gear didn't work and the tires couldn't stay full for even two weeks. But it was my bike, dammit, and now that it's gone a piece of me goes with it.

Goodbye Facebook... until August 1

Wed, 18 May 2011 11:37:35 -0800

If you've been around my Facebook profile lately, you'll notice it… isn't. I'm planning on being absent for most of the summer, with the only status updates being links to blog posts, since a lot of my readership comes from Facebook.

My reason is that I waste a lot of time on Facebook. This summer, I don't have any time to waste.

Since the best laid plans by mice and men gang aft agley, I'm not quite ready to explain yet what I'm cooking up to my readers. I've got a lot of big goals and a lot of big hopes of things I want to accomplish this summer, and Facebook isn't a part of those.

I'll still be updating my blog and tweeting — that is part of the plan, so it won't be hard to reach me if you absolutely need to. I'll be rejoining the cyber-universe August 1, when I move back to Des Moines.