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The headlines are alive with the sound of sixth-grade penis puns, teens swapping kidneys for iPads, a gov't sancitioned Plate of noms and a 20-something who allegedly killed her daughter so she could party. Here's Today in News, with a little Nels-spin.
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“The Hot New Weiner Theory Sweeping the Internet”
—NYMag.com

The Weinergate scandal — or whatever it is — is a black letter day for headline writers. A quick Google News search revealed such gems as “Weiner apologizes for being stiff” and “Big lies come in small packages.”

I’m not exactly sure what responsibility the media has to people with funny names caught in potential sex scandals, because I definitely can’t stop cracking up about it. None of the mainstream outlets seem to be able to, either. You're setting a greeaaaat example for all us wannabe journalists, mass media.

Weiner continues to insist that he was pranked, and this is one of the first stories I’ve seen that indicates that may actually be true. This is good for him since I can say “with certitude” that he’s been doing a pretty poor job of not looking like a guilty sleazeball so far.

This article basically says that the site yFrog, which the lewd photo popped up on, is pretty easy to hack if you know someone’s yFrog email address. Bloggers are also saying it’s pretty easy to figure out a yFrog email address. The only unanswered question is: was it Weiner's wiener?
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Casey Anthony Trial: Frustrated Cops Called her “Cold Blooded… Monster”

Anyone else been following the sordid developments in the trial of Casey Anthony, the mom who allegedly killed her daughter so she could live the partying lifestyle of a twenty-something?

The trial has been going on about a week and a half now — and the coverage has been pretty balanced. The trial has been overall presented in a very factual way, with both the defense and the prosecution given adequate airtime. This story seems particularly damning to Anthony, but every single statement is backed by evidence or fleshed out in the article.
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No More Food Pyramid: Nutritional Icon is Now a Plate

…and a badly designed one at that. Sure, it’s simple, but really? The government could have paid me $50 bucks and I could have created their new icon. This is supposed to guide the nation out of an obesity epidemic and save us billions in healthcare? It looks like someone created it in a 1998 version of MS-DOS Paint. PAINT. And what’s with the title “MyPlate”? It sounds like a middle-school social network for cafeteria-goers.

The article pretty much backs up all the claims the plate makes and draws in a whole bunch of expert opinions. But who cares? The plate makes no reference to exercise and just seems to invite criticism from all levels. Anyone else want to go to Raygun and pick up the witty shirt they’re bound to come up with this summer?

...Now that I think of it, this whole “design controversy” worked out pretty well for the D+ campaign, which got a whole lot of people talking about Drake, looking into it and will probably draw in a gi-normous freshman class.

I take it back. The plate is brilliant. I guess I’ll give some of MySpace in my life to MyPlate. Check out the article for a ton of expert opinions and other great reasons why the plate rocks.
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Would You Sell a Kidney for an iPad 2?
-PCMag

No. I’m holding onto my organs until at least an iPad 3.

I'm not a big fan of PCMag. Last month, I actually wrote a letter to the editor to them upset about their consumer-oriented coverage of the Foxconn explosion in a polishing factory last month, when they ignored (and failed to report) the names or photos of those killed.

This story isn’t quite as one-sided as the other one — but it does spin it in a humorous light, which I don’t appreciate. We’re talking about an idiot 17-year-old boy here who didn’t tell his parents about the procedure and went to a hospital that wasn’t qualified. Hospital administration didn’t even know about the procedure, since it was outsourced to a “private businessman.”

…WHAT?! How can it even be possible to perform surgery on a minor in such a shady way?

Once again, PCMag misses the important story to focus on a consumer-oriented “funny” angle. There’s nothing funny about organ stealing. This is a case of a dumbass kid being victimized and cut apart.
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CDC Marks the 30th Anniversary of HIV/AIDS
-ABC

Great article that summarizes the crisis, tugs at some hearstrings and throws some shocking statistics at the reader right at the end. It references the first article about AIDS — then an unknown affliction — and grabs statements from one of the earliest doctors, whose quote “All of our patients died — 100 percent,” bluntly throws the epidemic into context. The following sentence: “She felt like a ‘midwife’ of death’ in the early years,” offers the reader a sense of despair and frustration that must have been present for early AIDS researchers.

The article then brings the reader into the present day, nothing that treatments are much cheaper and much more effective, and that HIV is now a disease that can be managed, with transmission risks much lower. It’s a great read, overall, and gives great insight into the magnitude and devastation of the crisis.
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I don't know if you heard, but there was explosion at an iPad 2 Foxconn factory a fews days ago that left dozens injured. Three were killed, but let's talk about the important stuff! iPhone 4S and/or iPhone 5 release dates could be delayed!

A quick Google news search of "Foxconn" the other day revealed the most prominent headlines to be related to delays in iPhone/iPad production and/or a drop in Apple stock. None of the articles I perused had even acquired the names of the victims or any quotes or descriptions about who they were. The best I could find were these series of pictures of anguished relatives from Sina/English — and they didn't even name the relatives.

Still, I was struck by the pictures — in the lowest photo, two women (who I presume to be Chinese) sit waiting in the hospital ward. One of them is wearing a red blouse and a purse — the other a striped shirt below a gray suitcoat. It looks like something I might see a young American mother or professional wear. Out of all the coverage I've seen, these three photos have done the best job at telling the human side of this story.

I understand that many media outlets don't have the resources to reach all the way out to China, but I find it hard to believe that a quick Google translation of Chinese news sources or a phone call to the right people couldn't at least produce the names of the deceased.

As this story breaks, it is becoming increasingly clear that this was a factory without regulation or supervision. How many more of these places with deplorable working conditions exist? As sad as the deaths of three people are, how much worse can it be? I can't help but be reminded of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire 100 years ago that changed the American workplace. How many people have to die before companies like Apple take an active interest in their employees and not only their consumers?

And my message to the media: If I have to buy a laptop with blood on it, I want to know whose blood it is.

UPDATE: News sources are now saying aluminum dust produced during the polishing process are a possible cause of the explosion. Reports are saying the reason three people died is because iPads need to shine. 

The plant where the explosion took place was built in 76 days — a record time for Foxconn, specifically made to produce the iPad 2.
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Bonfire season! 05/22/2011
 
Every May and June, Northern Minnesotans kick off the summer with Bonfire season. I attended my first one a few nights ago, and brought my new Nikon along. Fires make for great photos with a quick shutterspeed and a wide, wide aperture.

What do you see in the flames? Click through for bigger pictures. Leave your answer in the comments.
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If you've been around my Facebook profile lately, you'll notice it… isn't. I'm planning on being absent for most of the summer, with the only status updates being links to blog posts, since a lot of my readership comes from Facebook.

My reason is that I waste a lot of time on Facebook. This summer, I don't have any time to waste.

Since the best laid plans by mice and men gang aft agley, I'm not quite ready to explain yet what I'm cooking up to my readers. I've got a lot of big goals and a lot of big hopes of things I want to accomplish this summer, and Facebook isn't a part of those.

I'll still be updating my blog and tweeting — that is part of the plan, so it won't be hard to reach me if you absolutely need to. I'll be rejoining the cyber-universe August 1, when I move back to Des Moines.
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#tdrelays 04/08/2011
 
What the hell Matt? It's April, and you haven't blogged since January, and when you did it was this weird sort of popular-culture crap? What happened to the insightful posts we loved to read, with the witty nature that impacted our lives in strange and mysterious ways?

...Okay, I'm probably dreaming big there, but I do have a reason I've been absent. Since roughly the middle of February, I've been devoting several hours a week toward the creation of a 56-page edition of The Times-Delphic, the Drake University student newspaper, for the Drake Relays.

Last year, I served as the Assistant Relays Editor of the publication, and this year I moved up in the world as Relays Editor. Helping with the Relays Edition last year was one of the most stressful experiences of my life. Imagine two-and-a-half weeks of caffeine-pill/redbull binges fueling consecutive all nighters, arguments that often became confrontational, passing out in semi-public places and occasional vomiting. It was like the greatest 21st birthday of all time without any alcohol.

Still, it was worth it. Last year's edition won awards, including a nomination for a Pacemaker, effectively the highest award a college newspaper can receive. It's my job to follow up that success with... something.

Going into this year, I knew we had to change our approach. We couldn't assign stories at the start of the year and then hope they all came in by the deadline, which happened to be two weeks before we went to print. We couldn't expect that writers could understand exactly what we needed without giving them guidance for their articles. That's why the guns got rolling in February, and why I've been absent from this blog (and any form of a social life, for that matter).

And — remarkably — it's going extremely well. Almost too well.

We currently have 97 stories ready for the page or going through edits. All of the photos have either been taken or are assigned to be taken, and from what I've been able to tell the photo editor is doing an outstanding job of coordinating with the respective section editors, who are doing a fantastic job keeping in touch with their writers, who are in turn doing some of the best writing/reporting I've seen on this campus.

I have never been more excited to read the newspaper. We have the right people doing the right jobs, and despite a few hiccups here and there, it's slowly coming together in a wonderfully cohesive way.

We've still got a long way to go. As yet, there is not a single page completely designed in any of the sections. We have a strong need for photographers to help us cover the multitude of events (email our photo editor Connor at connor.mccourtney@drake.edu if interested!).

Still, despite my nervousness, I haven't yet popped a single caffeine pill, and there appears to be more of a feeling of excitement regarding the issue than of dread.

If you're interested in jumping in on real-time updates, including snippets of stories, we've got an active Twitter feed (#tdrelays) going on throughout this whole process, and a staff blog that's about to get a whole lot busier. I also want to start bringing you "Writer Debriefings," where writers have the chance to talk about their involvement in the story they covered, and some of the interesting things that moved them.
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I'm so glad this month is almost over. It's been a rough one, Enduring Readers. I had this funny idea that this semester couldn't possibly be as hectic or as time consuming as Fall 2009. In April alone, I created an 8-page section of the Drake Relays Edition Times-Delphic (Features A, you better check it out!), studied for and took a quantum physics test (I can summarize that awful experience in one Northern Minnesotan word: Uffda), developed what I hope is just a mild caffeine addiction and pretty much decided on the course of the rest of my life.

I'll begin with the latter. I am now enrolled in Drake University's School of Education program, going for an education degree plus endorsements in physics, journalism, general science and, believe it or not, possibly math. Also, I'm getting my BA in Physics — that elusive physics major, and, if it doesn't mean too many more classes, possibly a math minor.

Yes, this will mean a solid platform (I think) I can sell myself to employers on. No, it won't mean I can graduate in four years. That's okay. I've accepted that, for the most part. I wish I'd planned a little better earlier on, but hey, what can you do at this point? I'll sneak in a few summer classes wherever I can, but I'm not holding my breath.

I imagine that in the near future I'll feel the same way about my physics degree as I do about the Relays Edition of the Times-Delphic: intensely proud, but I still want to take it outside and burn it in a trash barrel.

Don't get me wrong. I've pushed myself to places I didn't know I could go to with physics and the Times-Delphic (like pulling two all-nighters in a row, for instance). But when I think about tearing up the Relays Edition, even jokingly, I feel this strange sort of catharthis, like I'm telling this thing that had so much of a monopoly over my time that it doesn't own me anymore. That I won. I beat it.

It's a pretty strange juxtaposition of ideas, I admit, but don't get worried; I'm not about to go Office Space any time soon. I haven't torn up the Relays Edition, and I'm definitely not going to torch my future physics degree. It's just my thought of the night, I guess.

Does anyone else have any idea what I'm talking about? Do you ever just want to tear up that paper you spent hours writing, because you suddenly have the power to? Or am I nuts?
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Some presidents fly helicopters. Others control them via remote control.
SHOCKING REVELATION: Tuition at Drake is going up! Gasp! I could NEVER have expected that! Outraged, I decided to utilize my investigative journalism skills and have a look into this offense, and get to the heart of the matter by interviewing David Maxwell, President of Drake.

Actually, Maxwell is a pretty cool guy. I entered his office, pad and pencil in hand, ready to demand he lower tuition and give the starving students at Drake a break.

I was instead distracted by his electric helicopters which sat on his desk. They were SO FREAKING COOL — er, kind of neat. 

Every journalist knows that before you can slice, dice and extract those glorious answers to the tough questions out of your subject, you have to butter him up a little bit. Establish a rapport. Make them trust you, so they are willing to apologize to an entire country. I quickly realized that if I wanted to lower tuition and save the students around me, I would have to do one thing: talk about the helicopters.

It turns out that Maxwell originally owned the small one, but the larger one unexpectedly arrived on his desk one afternoon from a major credit card company, minus the remote control.

Maxwell was intrigued. Apparently, the package contained a sort of note. While I did not actually see the note, I imagine the gist of it went like this:

Dear RICH el presidente,

Enclosed is a electronic, equipped remote-control helicopter, a top of the line toy that every little boy and el presidente in America wants. These gadgets are so hot Santa's elves burned their fingers making them. And now it can be yours... for a price.

If you ever want to see her fly again, you must switch your corporate credit card accounts to ours. Otherwise, she'll be grounded... GROUNDED! (insert evil laugh)

I've never heard a story about a remote helicopter controller being held for a ransom of what probably amounted to several million dollars. TPFR. (That's pretty f**** random.)

Like Harrison Ford in Air Force One, Maxwell had to save this aircraft. Maxwell quickly phoned his VP, trying to find out if they could comply with the crazed captor's demands. She refused, citing some ridiculous reasons of contracts and legal liability or something. Whatever. 

Maxwell wasn't finished. He took to the Internet, scouring high and low for a replacement controller, anything that might give his plastic baby the gift of flight. But after weeks of searching, even the World Wide Web failed him.

Finally, he arranged a meeting between him and the peddler of plastic.

From what I gather, he basically pulled a Bill Clinton. Maxwell liberated that controller without a single punch or roundhouse kick. And the VP was happy, because Drake never changed accounts. Way to go, Maxwell. Way. to. go.

Oh, wait, tuition (yes, I DID do the interview). It really isn't that bad. It's only going up about 5 percent, and mostly is going to salary increases of faculty. The best part is that students actually have a partial say in which professor gets a raise because of course evaluations taken at the end of each semester. Besides, it's nothing compared to what California students are going through. 

I have to say, I'm not sure I've ever established such a random rapport. Sleep well, Fair Reader, and know that one helicopter is still out there, parading the skies, flying 65-80 feet into the sunset.
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